Ive given this a lot of thought. And i was given at an unfair advantage.

DeAngelus posted 12 chapters. 7 chapters in, i gave my honest opinions on it. The story pacing and tone was off, the world-building was lead to none. And the only thing i can gravitate to was A mystery that just wasn't enticing enough to make it my main interest in reading it, and a character that was also not appealing. In which DeAngelus keeps insisting isn't the main character.



You see, my biggest problem isn't that DeAngelus didn't want to follow my advice. But rather DeAngelus attempted to belittle it by saying "personal preference". Sure....I personally prefer good story telling. DeAngelus had no interest in addressing the issues given. Because according to DeAngelus, i was focusing on the wrong aspects of the story. Even though that was all i was given in the story.

DeAngelus hasn't really earned the trust enough for me to see the clues she wants me to see. Or maybe the goal isn't for me to see them at all. But what i'm left to perceive is bad story telling because there's not enough good story telling to really. She can say "Well its my story and lets just leave it at that".

But no, DeAngelus specifically aimed to say "personal preference". i'm going to say it. Anyone whoever coems out and says that, i will hound them down until they give a real reason why. Because i give personal recommendations. I give personal thoughts. But i dont push a personal preference in a story. Whatever they do to fix the story (even if it wasn't advice i explicitely said), if it actually fixes the flaws or makes them smaller, then i would praise it.

Another problem is when someone else gave a review it was mostly reactionary to mine. Rather than sticking with their own opinion without acknowledging mine. And the biggest problem is i know they had completely different revisions and also had more chapters to work with. I gave DeAngelus a fair review. I dare say, more than fair.

The first chapter is what i always preach that it is the foundation of a good story. It is the first impression. I was very generous to DeAngelus to even treat chapters 1 through 3 as the first chapter. If i would have given DeAngelus a conventional review, Chapter 1 would've been a failure. There was simply not enough world building and not enough character setup. The mystery overtook it all and there wasn't enough to really establish "the point of contact".