The only thing I disagree with are claims against me as a person. Perhaps if you reviewed the story instead of attacking me, you might have seen that progress. I admit I used to argue for the sake of the story because I had pride in it. But I don't do that anymore.

And now you don't you only have pride in yourself. Which means any flaws coming from you can't be questioned when writing stories.

I think in pictures, I read this script seeing the final copy and calculating ways to illustrate it. I don't see this as the text that it is, but you do, and so that's why I don't discredit everything you say and that's why there is clearly a disconnect in the way you experience it from the way I experience it. The things I write about are the things that interest me, so when I read works from others that are this way, I'm completely comfortable with it.

And you may not be comfortable with that, and many people may not be comfortable with that.

This is why you are questioned. As a person. You do what you are comfortable, you don't change your method. You admit this causes a disconnect between how you experience the story and how readers do. And you still do it.

It is a complete lie that I have made no progress at all. And yes, I can say that with the only credible voice being myself. For the same reason that I can say that my artwork now is better than my artwork when I was 3 years old. You have a right to believe what you want, but I personally don't fancy believing in lies. I shouldn't have to show you Sentieria Legends for you to know that. But I'm no Leonardo Da Vinci, there's still improvements to be made, but improvements have been made.

your characters are as bland and tasteless as they were from Sentiera Legend. They're either Mary Sue or Anti-Sue. Tell me when have you made a character where the world doesn't gravitate around them and have both defining redeeming qualities and flaws that you can see in script form?

I want to clarify that your concepts aren't always bad. Sentiera as a concept was bad but your flaw has always been mainly your characters. You don't know what makes a good readable character worth reading. I'm tired of explaining this.

Why I was hopeful at first: Because you have a story concept that by description focuses on character development. All you have to do is focus on the development itself. The potential in development is there.

What is stopping me to read the story:

Without the fantasy genre for you to give an excuse as to why you're not giving any development to these characters, your story should at least have more depth and distinct personalities. And yet lacks characters even more.

Jeremy is a sociopath. He expects the world to go in his favor and doesn't recognize his extreme flaws. He doesn't disapoint. Disappoint implies I have hopes and expectations from Him.  I do not. He is scum.

Amyrie acts just like a figment of a sociopath social inept person's imagination. She cares for him at an extreme level that only makes sense as a imaginary girlfriend. Which for that reason I do not see her as a character just a figment of someone's imagination. She does EXACTLY what an imaginary friend does.

But it goes further than that. Imaginary friends are just that "Imaginary". they are things people create to pass the time or fill a void. Jeremy does this but at an extreme. Chapter 1 he calls Amyrie back as if she was real and depends on her as of she was real.

No...Amyrie does not make the story redeemable. Jeremy is the worst character. He is a character that I do not enjoy reading. He does the most extreme actions such as attempting to kill himself over a girl who doesn't like him and then suddenly his friends just joke about it as if that's normal. And Jeremy who discovers it's nor.al for the first time gives me huge red flags as to what YOU the author passes off as normal.

None of his friends matter they're just excuses to move the story forward. They all have the same generic tone and so do the girls. Nichols suddenly gets his number and them tells him he only likes her as a friend. Nothing works in this story. And it's not because the concept is flawed. These characters are just ridiculous.


I'm out.....i don't want to hear excuses as to why you did it the way you did. I'm tired of repeating myself to you what makes a good character. You don't listen and do the same process.