Having just read through all of the chapter and having a few similarities with Raven personally, I firmly disagree. To me, it showed that she wants to push her limits, that she wants to see what it's like to have something be difficult when what some would consider great feats, such as her puzzle-solving skills, come so easily to her, likely due to an addictive personality. I agree that sex is about intimacy, but I also understand how someone can be comfortable with sex but not something like sleeping beside their partner.

Somewhat off topic, please do not talk to me personally about Fifty Shades, because there was little-to-no research into the BDSM community in that book, and the entire schmuck is just hypersexualized abuse. I won't deny that there are some scumbags like that in our community, but firstly and foremostly, an abuser's history of having been abused does not excuse their behavior. I can't bring myself to stand the series, not to mention that I've read better written BDSM sex scenes from oneshot fanfictions. Fifty Shades is not worth comparing to the meager sex scene in Terra Stregada. In my opinion, it should never have become so successful. It's toxic.

Back to the point, though. I think the reason for our huge difference in opinion isn't due to whether or not we hold sex as sacred, because I certainly do, but rather, I understand the more psychological aspects of having odd fetishes since I tend to psychoanalyze myself frequently on sleepless nights. I've come to many realizations about sex and how it can be more than just pleasure or conception. It can be any number of things, from control to an escape.

Her not being able to achieve orgasm doesn't make sense either. Let me see if I can explain...From what I understand, Raven seems to have a multi-track mind. As such, combined with asphyxiation, it's very clear to me that she falls into that category of escaping, wanting her mind to just shut up and go blank for a little bit. Simultaneously, that can be difficult because her mental prowess is simply part of who she is. In fact, I have to give Lumaria some major props for pulling off a character like that for that scene in particular.

However, especially towards chapter four, I saw less of "Ugh, let's just get this over with" and more of a weak-willed and somewhat wishy-washy character who is just going along with things. It's a little disappointing, because Raven is quite capable. Then again, she lost her purpose, and is kind of in a "void" stage of life, and to top it off, it's her main strength that contributes to her main weakness, that is, she's...incredibly bland, despite being so fun to pick apart. She has these mechanisms going on in her head, but her actions are just bluh. It might make a little more sense if she took some more charge in conversation. I'd recommend looking back and seeing how often she said the word "suppose", or otherwise fell into monotonous speech patterns. Her giving some more intelligent feedback would better suit her character, I feel.

The support characters are fine, I think, and the main antagonist makes sense, so you're pretty set from here. It's a matter of turning "okay" into "excellent". There were a few confusing parts with wording, but with some serious proofreading and some minor tweaking, I'm sure this draft can be finalized into something that really gets the job done.