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Author Topic: Blade Regalia  (Read 1363 times)

Lumaria

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Re: Blade Regalia
« Reply #60 on: June 30, 2018, 10:26:10 pm »
Let's take a step back and look at the essence of Blade Regalia.

Blade Regalia is a story about a world where everyone is playing the wrong role.

I don't believe you intend a world to systematically work that way (otherwise you fall prey to being too predictable). Just that you want to push those themes into the story.

The problem with this being the core theme is that a lot of manga and anime use this as a common story element. Naruto, Bleach, One Piece. they all use this theme of characters having a role that doesn't work with their overall personality.

So you're going to have to push this theme at a level others havent before. Which i dont trust you to succeed in it yet. OR push another theme in the story.

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These aren't metaphysical roles like I talked about in FNO or the Cannibal, but actual roles in their world. Helen is too young to lead a nation. Lucius isn't faithful enough to be a religious leader. Katherine isn't passionate enough to be a soldier. This is all a result of Regalia and its rules within the world.
And yet, we seen many stories that have characters like Lucius, Helen, and Katherine. If you intend to do this like manga and anime, the trope is used to death.

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The character's passions then work against their circumstances. Lucius wants to be in control, and doesn't want to put faith in things he can't explain. Helen wants to enjoy her childhood and escape her responsibilities. Katherine wants to live a peaceful life, not the life of a soldier. She's also being drafted to go to war with her home country.
Lucius feels generic. i don't think this character will help you drive your themes unless you paint it as an actual flaw. but so far just feels like a general character trait. Helen again is a role we've seen one too many times.

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What lends the antagonist to be advantageous is not their power, but the fact that they actually fit into their role. And their passions line up with their role. I tried a few times to depict members of "Sanctum" fighting members of "Pulvia". I always had Sanctum losing for this reason. It is meant to be a personality driven story.
So the trope you're painting is very very common. especially with a group of misfits joined together to fight off an antagonist that is at a huge advantage. I'm not sure how well you can execute this idea alone, but like i said: its a very common trope". it doesn't even feel like a theme for a story and more like a general feature most anime and manga use.

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Katherine being drafted the way she was, was meant to be a statement like this could happen to anyone. This could be you, where one minute your life is in control and then suddenly you're thrown into a role that is the last thing you ever wanted. And there are 140 playable characters that are each dealing with something different. Regalia itself becomes symbolic. "You're dressed like a soldier, so go out and fight, Katherine". If it walks like a duck. Quacks like a duck. Then it must be a duck.

Katherine being drafted in general is enough to say "this could happen to anyone". thats usually what feeling people get when someone related to the main character or the main character themselves get drafted. So i dont understand why you wrote it the way you did.

Now heres something important: Even though the act of being drafted already gives you that feeling, it was poor executed because you really didn't explore the world around. Lets use Hunger Games as an example: Before Katniss has the annual lotery to participate in the Hunger Games, we see what kind of life she lives and there is some build up to it.

Pushing this theme further would feel less annoying if we knew who Katherine was and what she's leaving behind (and why its important for her). Especially when its done against her will.


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That's the very basic breakdown of what I want from this story moving forward, and it's very exciting to see that come to life.
I dont know....i'm still concerned with execution. Here's my concerns so far, i hope you can address them here before stories are being posted:

Katherine: i hope you gave her a defining character trait that helps identify with her or connect with her at some level?

Sanctum and Pulva: IF Katherine lives in this town, i hope you give us an idea of what kind of lifestyle this town/city is.

Pacing: This probably adds to what the previous two concerns. But hopefully chapter 1 has enough story elements to not feel incomplete and move along the first chapter. There should be some "weight" to certain aspects of the story that i hope aren't thrown around lightly. For example, the war against Pulva and Sanctum. Always felt like it wasn't happening or it wasn't so serious, and thats probably because there was no impact added to anything that was explained.


 

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