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Author Topic: [+18] Gemstone Gallery  (Read 4171 times)

Lumaria

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Re: [+18] Gemstone Gallery
« Reply #90 on: September 12, 2018, 12:18:29 am »
I'm going to give you the whole story because why not.

That picture was made for a completely open ended project aimed entirely towards expression. I mean we weren't graded on technique, and it didn't even have to be a drawing. It has to do with me trying to understand who I am. What I'm trying to portray is very complicated. The woman in the picture isn't a real person but she's based on the girl mentioned in that story I posted here, "The Cannibal". Red hair, red eyes. However, I wanted her to feel very human and natural so the red in her eyes is dulled down and her teeth aren't sharp.

You are looking from my perspective and that is my hand drawn resting on the plate. When I drew this piece I made it under the pretense that anyone who looks at it could easily be the girl or me. It deals with these two sets of carnal desires. First there's this woman who is obviously beautiful and young and friendly. This sense of attraction doesn't seem so crazy until you see what someone is willing to do to satisfy it. Secondly it's her desire to consume you. In a way, they're the same, the lust towards her flesh and her lust towards yours.

Obviously this extends beyond flesh, and it really has nothing to do with that. I has to do with really the abuse of others for your own gain and allowing yourself to be abused for your own gain. One day I watched myself switch places until I became the cannibal and I destroyed a friendship. I deceived him until I was able to get what I needed. I felt sick afterwards.

It was so natural I wouldn't have ever noticed had I not drawn that image and forced myself to deal with the darkest parts of who I am. So as I said, I drew this under the pretense that anyone could be the girl or the viewer, but now I don't think that's entirely genuine. What's certain about this picture is that I could easily be either person.

I wanted this picture to help me look into the minds of the people who've hurt me or abused me physically or emotionally in some way and so I was forced to take into account how exactly I was responsible for putting myself in a position to be abused. Because when I did that, things started to make more sense, and I was able to humanize the people who hurt me. Naturally you want to demonize them, and in the same way I wanted to demonize the girl, literally. This is the second version of that image and the first one she had sharp teeth and was just all around more vicious. It turned out much more powerful when I made her more human because a monster is what you're expecting.

This is the exact same thing that the cannibal as a story is based on. I didn't know that when I wrote it. It wasn't a conscious decision, but a subconscious one. The one that I posted is not the first rendition of the cannibal. I first wrote it when I was around 12 years old, and I kept making changes to the story and pushing this grotesque and horrific story and it wasn't until recently that I understood why I was obsessed with this character.

sounds heavy. i'm sure plenty of us have drawn something similar to that. i definitely think that drawing was the one with the most symbolism. the others appear to be more projects or practicing. SO its more interesting when you share drawings where you incorporate specific ideas or themes.

 

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